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kidnapped girl returns

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A young woman walked into a California police station and announced that she was Jaycee Lee Dugard – a missing girl who was snatched by an abductor from a Lake Tahoe-area school bus stop in 1991. The kidnapper returned her and traded her for a younger version.

fish attracted to certain smells

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Local fishermen have been using used fishnet stockings to catch certain type of river fish. “Seems like the fish like the smell of used fishnet stockings, what is ed most likely due to the fact that they smell fishy”, says local creepy fisherman.

james cameron, avatar, and buns

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James Cameron has been seen using his 3d motion capture technology developed for Avatar, click with babes privately. He is reportedly acquiring a database of 3d  buns for an upcoming project called, 3d buns: in 3d.

google to digitize books

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Google in a highly controversial action will be digitizing millions of books. The first question that Googlers have been asking if porn magazines, viagra smut, calendars, postcards, and Victoria Secrets catalogs will also be scanned?

jasmine fiore found dead

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Photos of Jasmine Fiore are hard to find. So here are some photos of girls that look like the recently deceased playboy blond.

NEWS UPDATE:  Autopsy report concludes Jasmine wasn’t a real blond.

ye yang beats tiger’s wood

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Y.E. Yang beats Tiger Wood in the 2009 PGA championship. The little asian man in a celebratory celebration buys Tiger Woods a complimentary PGA hand job, medicine courtesy of local babes hands.

Michael Vick Press Conference

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The Eagles acquire Michael Vick. Michael Vick acquires local Philly ass.

pga championship 2009

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This years PGA championship will offer a new bonus prize for any hole in one throughout the tournament. A hole in one will award the winner a one hole in with on of the PGA cheerleaders.

ryan o’neal admits to flirting with his own daughter

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In an interview with Vanity Fair magazine, mind  Ryan O’neal admitted to flirting with his own daughter at Farrah Fawcett’s funeral. O’neal said he got the idea from the movie Wedding Crashers, drug but had also just seen My Father the Hero, starring French sensation Gerard Depardieu, and became confused at the memorial.

tiger woods farts on 18th at the buick open

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Tiger Woods fart could be heard but not smelled, salve as he was readying for a putt on the 18th hole at the Buick Open. Local babe thinks its hot how comfortable he is around his fans. “I hope he is comfortable enough to drive that 9 iron in this 18’s hole”, says local 18 year old babe.

chris dodd diagnosed with early stage prostate cancer

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WASHINGTON — Senator Christopher Dodd, buy Democrat Conn., search has been diagnosed with a very early stage of prostate cancer. He is to go under the knife in late August. The new Obama health care plan allows sexy Nurses to use unorthodox but very sexy tactics to make their patients feel as comfortable as possible.

2009 cash for clunkers

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The government is issuing 4, website 500 dollar rebate for trading in your clunker car when you purchase a new car from your local dealership. Local hookers offer a two for one dunk yer balls  on my face deal in celebration.

girls of the wnba gone wild dvd

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Becky Hammon after scoring a record high of 12 girl points, capsule at this years wnba all star game has confirmed a “girls of the wnbda gone wild” dvd. Awkward teenage boys will reluctantly touch themselves while watching the dvd.

NEWS UPDATE: Wives of the NBA in talks with commissioner David Stern.

mark buehrle and babe toss perfection

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White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle made history on the South Side of Chicago Thursday afternoon, order tossing a perfect game against the Tampa Bay Rays. On the same day local Chicago babe tosses a perfect ass.

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