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You know what was Missing In Action at the 2012 SuperBowl halftime show? Some brown British Indian nip slip. Instead we got a measly middle finger from pop star M.I.A. and some weird awkward old lady air thrusts from Madonna. Besides the delayed censoring of the middle finger (poor dude is about to get fined and fired by the FCC), all in all it was a pretty uneventful show.

East St. Louis police chief, Michael Baxton, has plead guilty to stealing four Xbox 360 consoles from the FBI. Officials had placed the gaming units in a car as part of a sting that could cost the chief up to $500,000, and up to 15 years in prison. Said the red headed guy from CSI: Miami, “looks like for the chief, it’s game over…”
yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Comedian Patrice O’Neal died this Monday night. Suffering from a stroke and diabetes complications starting in October.

His hilarious break down of relationships, was truthful, unique, and should be watched by all girls acting all crazy and shit with their man.

Pay a little respect to Patrice ladies, S’ some D’s like a pornostar for your boyfriend, lover, or whatever tonight, it’s what Patrice would have wanted. Also watch Elephant In The Room, preferably while giving/getting said head.

Demi Moore announced today that she plans to end her six year marriage to actor Ashton Kutcher after allegations of infidelity. This means of course, that Demi will once again be the worlds most desirable milf; while Kutcher will continue to star on the number one sitcom on television…although strangely, I don’t know a single person who watches his show.

 
Heavy D, of Heavy D and the Boyz, has passed away at age 44. Rest in pies.

Dr. Conrad Murray, doctor for Michael Jackson, is on suicide watch, after a guilty verdict of involuntary manslaughter was issued. “After seeing some white girl ta-tas, I’m outta here”, said the guilty doc.

Joe Frazier, the relentless slugger who became the heavyweight champion of the world and earned boxing immortality with three epic battles against Muhammad Ali, died Monday at age 67, his personal manager said.

Here are some boxing babes to help you mourn this tragic loss.

Actress Lindsay Lohan will be featured in the January/February issue of Playboy. Said one Playboy subscriber, “you know, this might be the first time I use the I buy it for the articles excuse and actually mean it.”

Heidi Klum takes it all off, the bodacious celeb removed more than her panties for the 2011 TAO Las Vegas Halloween party.

Tonya Cooley, best known most for her stints on MTV shows The Real World, and The Real World/Road Rules Challenge, is suing the channel, along with production company Bunim/Murray, for sexual harassment, discrimination, wrongful termination and sexual assault. The events allegedly took place during the filming of the 2009 Real World/Road Rules Challenge, and not while she was stripping naked for Playboy and making a string of unsuccessful soft core porn movies…

Its not like you havn’t seen her ass naked getting pounded 1940′s doggy style, but, Actress Paz de la Huerta, who plays the sultry Lucy Danziger of HBO’s Boardwalk Empire, gets nude for photographer Terry Richardson.

Katy Perry, Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson, turns 25 this October 25th 2011. What did you make for her this year? We made a cake made entirely from flour, our sperm, stolen Katy Perry hair, frosting, two eggs, and weird crying tears, in the shape of her face and ours. Hope she likes it, Happy 25th!

Happy Birthday Rachel McAdams. We wish you the happiest and creepiest of birthday wishes! You were not only sexy and funny in Mean Girls, but you are also topless in that one movie. (It doesn’t matter what the name of the movie is, the scene/clip is below).