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Labor Day Weekend

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Labor Day weekend babes plan for eating wieners all week long.

Gold Prices Rise – As Booty Rides Up and Down

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The demand for gold booty shorts has in turn raised the prices of gold commodity prices. Until babes demand lowers gold prices don’t see any sign of slowing down.

Heidi Fleiss and Her Daughters

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Heidi Fleiss and her new business of male escorts is launching in tandem with her daughters new reality show. The reality show is said to air via webcam in their dorm rooms. Stay tuned.

California Fires Worries Emo Babe

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The California wild fires have destroyed 22 homes. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has issued mandatory evacuations from homes near fire. Local emo babe, adiposity worries she won’t be able to take photos in front of her emo mirror anymore. To compensate shes taken thousands of self photos just in case.

north and south korean agree

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Leaders of North and South Korea agreed in an international meeting, look that when the thighs on girls don’t touch, it can be considered pretty¬† hot and tempting.

vanessa hudgens in college musical

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Vanessa Hudgens known best for her role in Disney’s High School Musical, and has confirmed she will be in College Musical, a spin off sequel. Admittedly producers admit College Musical is less of a musical and more like a porno.

twins smother carl pavano

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The Twins acquired Carl Pavano from the Indians. While local babe’s set of twins also acquires Carl Pavano in a night of intense celebratory motor boating and fun baggin’

nfl reinstates michael vick on conditional basis

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Almost two years after pleading guilty to federal dogfighting charges, hospital the NFL has reinstated QB Michael Vick on a conditional basis. Vick’s entourage celebrated the news with a quiet night on the town.

cardinals reportedly land matt holliday

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The St. Louis Cardinals have traded for Oakland outfielder Matt Holliday. Matt Holliday trades his wife for local St. Louis undergrad college student.

NEWS UPDATE: Matt Holliday in talks with Local St. Louis undergrad college student about trading his daughter for her BFF.

tennessee gov. calls off manhunt for front of girls dress

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After an exhausting two week search, buy more about the Governor of Tennessee has called off the manhunt for the front of local eighteen year old Jenny’s summer dress. While the family of the young girl is still offering a $500 reward for information leading to the return of the front of the dress, men across Tennessee are offering double that amount for the piece of fabric to remain missing.

Kat Von D Pregnant

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Tattoo godess Kat Von D, viagra reportedly is pregnant. “I’m going to tattoo a fetus on my stomach and watch it grow, it’ll be like a looking glass in my stomach” exclaims a drunk Kat Von D.

miley cyrus pregnant pictures

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A lactating miley cyrus has been sending nude photos of herself to her potential fathers of her baby. Who’s my baby’s daddy song being recorded this week. Leaked tracks will be available shortly.

fourth of july moved to the 7th

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This years fourth of July will be moved to July 7th due to fireworks delivery delays.

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