babezatron

When tanning, always make sure to wear a snake skin cowboy hat. It says, “I’m hip, tan, and kind of slutty.”

Using pastries as a joke to pretend like you have weird pastry nipples doesn’t distract the fact that your face is weird and that you probably have weird pastry looking nipples underneath those pretend pastry nipples.

The difference in risk of seriously injuring oneself, between grinding the slippery rails on a bmx bike and grinding the slippery tail on a bmx’ed babe, is only slight. But one activity can substantially injure your lil’ rider more.

Puffy nips are out, spirally nips are in.

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Ask her on a date politely and offer her 20 rupees, and if she says no, Try Force.

Submission by Gil Brooks

If you’re like me, the first thing you thought when you saw this babez boob with a cd on it was, “get an iPod already.”

Do not let this girl go…

Asking a babe if they want to see your giant mushroom tip can sometimes get you sexy snow sex.

A great way to save time is to multitask…”All three of us need to bathe AND we all have to smoke a cig?? I’ll run the water; Jane, you pack the smokes; Beth, start taking off all of our clothes.”

photo found via ambidextrously-erotic

In case of a water emergency, use the floating double DDevices aboard neighboring drunk girls boat.

Sometimes, hot pictures are not hot when looked at upside down.

Always have a pack of Skittles laying around the house…because you just never know when a babe is going to ask you to cover her vag in candy.

photo found from natadamnthing

Forget milk! If you want a killer bod (or at least a killer buzz), drink yourself an icy cold PBR.

In an earthquake, the sexiest place to be is in a doorway.