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Babe Unaware of Impending Jason Voohrees Attack

A South Dakota babe, order who was just enjoying some good ol’ fashioned drinking and lake swimming with her high school sweetheart, the town slut, the funny guy who never gets laid, the star quarterback, the nerd, the scary movie expert, the token black guy, and the older brother who has been at college for one year and managed to smuggle a joint, was unaware that she had created the perfect conditions for a Friday the 13th style attack. Sadly, there was only one surviver from the brutal weekend. Said the lucky young lady, “it’s so tragic. But you have to move on. I’ve already booked a second vacation to the same lake next summer with my younger sister, her boyfriend and his new handheld video camera, the nature expert, the bookworm babe with big tits, and a number of other less important characters…i mean friends.”

Rich Art School Kid Bored

After years of hardly working and sighing heavily after everything you say , rx rich art school kid tricks step sister into contributing to a school art project.

Don’t Jump!

Hundreds of local men gathered beneath a high rise building in downtown Houston, cheap earlier this week to try and talk a large pair of breasts out of jumping. Said one onlooker, treatment “if these were some fake jugs, they’d probably just bounce on impact and be fine. But these babies are real!”

What the Hell is That?

I don’t know…

Home Depot to Add New ‘Hard Wood’ Section

The Home Depot announced this weekend that they will begin work on a new ‘Hard Wood’ section. Strangely, buy it will apparently be located nowhere near the lumber.

Coke Polar Bears Arrested for Being Peeping Toms

Cokes favorite advertising darlings, viagra approved the Holiday Polar Bears, were taking into police custody Saturday, after numerous ‘peeping tom’ and invasion of privacy complaints from female students at Antarctica University. Coke was not able to reach for comment but Polar Bear Two was quoted as saying, “grrrrrrrrr.”

Canadian Border Patrol Cracks Down on Environmentally Unfriendly Vehicles

Officials from the Canadian Environmental Counsel, case announced Wednesday that vehicles that do not meet new emission standards will be charged an extra fee to cross border lines. The new fees will not, however, effect the complimentary hand job offered by border patrol babes.

Babe in Invisible Dress Takes Break From Playing Invisible Chess for a Round of Invisible Twister

According to Babezatron sources, medicine invisible is the new visible. You can see what we mean above…or can you?

Bed Bath and Beyond Adds Roman Orgy Section

The store that has almost everything has decided to get even bigger. August 2010 will mark the grand opening of BB+B’s newest section; Roman Orgies. The lotion and apology card sections will also be expanded.

Run-By Water Balloonings on the Rise, Officials Say

waterballoons

The number of babes falling victim to run-by water balloonings is on a steady rise, capsule officials said Sunday. Said one official, “most of these babes don’t mind showing a little boobage; but it’s November for crying out loud.” For the time being, babes have been advised to wear thick coats or just go topless.

wizard of oz celebrates 70th anniversary by going hi-def

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One of the most beloved films of all time, more about The Wizard of Oz, ed celebrated the 30th anniversary of it’s release this month by finally releasing a high definition version of the movie. With each copy of the  HD release, fans were also treated to a commemorative ‘Yellow Brick Moonbounce.’

best top.mobi hires sexy ceo

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Best top.mobi hires sexy CEO to run company.

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BestTop.Mobi

telescopes to show universe soon after the big bang

bigboobtheory

Astronomers are holding their breath to see what they’ll observe with a new generation of huge telescopes set to be built around the world. If nothing else, treat lonely scientists are poised to have a wonderful view into their neighbors bedrooms, proving once and for all the Big Boobs Theory.

Jon and Kate fear some kids showing slutty tendencies.

jon and kate kids

Jon and Kate, what is ed of the hit tv show Jon and Kate plus 8, prescription worry that some of their kids are mimicking their whoring ways. John says, “I began to worry when I saw Aden coming home during nap time with a couple of fatties from the playground.” Kate, “The girls are already taking pretend self shots on their toy phones”. Jon, “oh well, they learn from the best.”

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