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bernie madoff sentencing bores the internet

white_pants_ass1Bernie Madoff was sentenced to 150 years without the possib… booooriiiingggg.

billy mays dies before he unveils newest product

billy mays dead nude

Billy Mays, salve untimely death at age 50, pharmacy comes at an untimely time. He was in production to launch a new product that was able to retrieve nude photos off ex girlfriends camera phones with the greatest of ease. “Tired of having to hack into babes phones to retrieve noodz !?’ screamed Billy Mays, on set of his now cancelled show Pitchmen. He will be missed.

michael jackson face dies

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Slippery babe witnesses the king of pop, viagra 100mg Michael Jackson’s face die. Rumors of Michael Jackon dying have been blown out of proportion, viagra his heart is fine, it only his face that has passed on to the other side. Again, Michael Jackson is not dead, just really weird looking.

jenny sanford to pose nude

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Jenny Sanford, viagra 100mg wife of South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, said in passing, she wouldn’t mind posing nude with an Argentine man.¬† Next door neighbors have been waiting for years to get a glimpse of some naked governess action.

Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland excites gothic babes.

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The trailer excited gothic babes around the world. Throwing away all their Nightmare Before Christmas striped clothing/accessories, more about anticipating new Alice In Wonderland striped accessories to replace the old. Gothic experts believe there will be a spike in topless goths in the coming months.

Golf ‘s 2009 US Open confuses babe.

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when asked about the 2009 US Open, more about babe innocently and sexily says “was the US everclosed, pilule hehe”. How adorably hot.

NEWS UPDATE: Lucas Glover agrees this babe “is effin hot, I’d give it all away to bogey all over her face”.

nestle cookie dough recall

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The FDA does not trust that consumers can resisit the temptations of of eating  the contaminanted raw cookie dough, physician as a result the FDA has recalled nestles cookie dough until further notice. A protest rally has begun in front of the FDA building, consiting of mostly aunts and cat owners.

iran’s president ahmadinejad terrified of tweeters

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ahmadinejad’s recent twitter post, pharmacy asks twitter users to please not change their avatars to green.

NEWS UPDATE: according to ahmadinejad’s twitter, “he is totally going to mahmood’s rager tonight. SEE YAZ THERE!!! lol”

iphone activation server is temporarily unavailable

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babes wait anxiously for their apple iphone 3.0 update to work.

girls gone wild : fathers day edition postponed

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Due to misprinted dvd packages, purchase the Girls Gone Wild Fathers day edition dvds will be postponed until Veterans Day.

zicam recall worries axe fragrance users

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The recent Zicam recall issued, buy due to risk of permanent loss of smell, more about has axe fragrance users in a panic.

“How are babes going to know I’m lurking around them up in the club?”, asks worried devoted Axe user.

Axe scientists are frantically working in the lab developing an extra obnoxious strength fragrance . In the mean time Axe users are told to use one can for each armpit.

kim jong il inadverently creates nuclear mega babe.

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north korean scientists forget to carry over the 1 in nuclear bomb formula and inadverntly create a nuclear mega babe. she is immediatly given a huge framed picture of the great leader and told not to sign on to facebook.com ever.

naked babe doesn’t care about swine flu.

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naked babe: ” i don’t even care about swine flu “.

NEWS UPDATE: naked babe probably doesn’t care about N1h1 either.

2009 NBA Lakers Champions Eiffel Tower Celebration.

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Los Angeles Lakers’ Kobe Bryant and Derrik Fischer , prescription current 2009 NBA champions, viagra order to gang bang local Orlando white girl in an attempt to start new championship win tradition.

NEWS UPDATE: Local Orlando white girl super sad. Phil Jackson says Orlando Magic’s nachos not as cheesy as previous years.

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