We havn’t even finished all the books and movie, sick but I’m sure all you nerds out there are super stoked about Pottermore. JK Rowling has announced an online world of Hogwarts with additional content and digital activities. We’re already thinking about digitally breaking into Hermoine’s room and digitally wearing her Griffindor panties and digitally rubbing her lotion on our skin.
We really like it when girls have imperfections. Fucked up noses, approved abnormally large hips, or eyes that are so far apart you could fit two more (eye)balls in between them, like this fucking babe. Don’t get us wrong, if you’re only exclusively bringing a fucked up nose and far apart eyeballs to the table, you’re pretty much fucked. But we’d choose a babe that is pretty with imperfection over the perfect looking babe anyday. So start breaking your noses, we’ll gladly do it for you, you probably deserve it anyways.
iBoobies($10) Now all we need is an iFleshlight and our weird iphone sex tools collection will be complete.
“Give your iPhone a jiggle and a wiggle with this hilarious case and stand. It will make even the most boring calls a titillating experience! Features: Serves as a protective case & as a stand While designed for the iPhone model 4.”
Oh you’re too sophisticated to be enjoying this kinda humor? Shut the fuck up, clinic she’s gonna have weird great sex and you’ll be too busy watching youtube videos at 2am. Now go ahead and laugh and or fap to this.
Using pastries as a joke to pretend like you have weird pastry nipples doesn’t distract the fact that your face is weird and that you probably have weird pastry looking nipples underneath those pretend pastry nipples.
It’s official Mr. Ghetto provides hands down, thumb bar none, remedy no contest, as if, pshhha, right?, the best music video/song of the summer. Asses shaking through the Wal-Mart aisles outshines that white girls skipping through Macy’s video by lightyears.
Since the dawning of time (or at least the mid 70’s), adiposity Man’s two favorite indulgences have been alcohol and pornography. What could be better than having a sip of a tasty adult beverage and then watching two strangers have sex for money on video tape? The question then became, “how to combine the two?” Sure you could set the old super 8, splash around a little Evan Williams, and get freaky with your lady friend. But where’s the class and innovation in that? It would take an overweight, well endowed, mustache of a man to finally get it right. Enter Ron Jeremy and his delicious Ron De Jeremy rum. We got it, we tried it, we dog gone done did it. Here is what we remember…