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kidnapped girl returns

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A young woman walked into a California police station and announced that she was Jaycee Lee Dugard – a missing girl who was snatched by an abductor from a Lake Tahoe-area school bus stop in 1991. The kidnapper returned her and traded her for a younger version.

side to side boob is the new side boob

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NEWS UPDATE: Side to side boob is the new side boob. That is all.

ghost still haunts

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Mary Jo Kopechne (1940 – 1969) was a schoolteacher, sale secretary, sale and political campaign worker. She drowned mysteriously possibly murdered to keep her affairs with the Kennedys quiet. She continues to naked haunt the Kennedy’s, find notably, The late Ted Kennedy and his sixteen year old son. “I get a ghost nip in my mouth early in the morning, it spooks me at first, but it mostly turns me on”, says a dead Ted Kennedy.

paris michael katherin jackson nudes

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In the year 2015, page Paris Jackson, the daughter of the alleged murdered Michael Jackson,  will shoot some nudez. A time traveler has time leaked them to us in the present time.

NEWS UPDATE: Time traveler states that Michael raises from the dead, for the anniversary of the Thriller music video.

texting while driving PSA

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The new texting while driving PSA maybe too graphic for some. It depicts two teenage girls texting while driving, healing then smashing into a car. Their bloody bodies lie motionless in the wreck.

Luckily before they crash local teen iphone hacker, viagra 60mg hacked the phones and found tons of nudez.

madoff joins indian gang

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Bernie Madoff has joined a Native American gang within prison. Reports of him using Indian rituals to rid his cancer are true. “Him have cancer, tadalafil we use him as our bitch”, says gang leader Tonto.

fish attracted to certain smells

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Local fishermen have been using used fishnet stockings to catch certain type of river fish. “Seems like the fish like the smell of used fishnet stockings, what is ed most likely due to the fact that they smell fishy”, says local creepy fisherman.

james cameron, avatar, and buns

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James Cameron has been seen using his 3d motion capture technology developed for Avatar, click with babes privately. He is reportedly acquiring a database of 3d  buns for an upcoming project called, 3d buns: in 3d.

google to digitize books

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Google in a highly controversial action will be digitizing millions of books. The first question that Googlers have been asking if porn magazines, viagra smut, calendars, postcards, and Victoria Secrets catalogs will also be scanned?

jasmine fiore found dead

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Photos of Jasmine Fiore are hard to find. So here are some photos of girls that look like the recently deceased playboy blond.

NEWS UPDATE:  Autopsy report concludes Jasmine wasn’t a real blond.

alaska earthquake disrupts bj

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The 4.1 magnitude earthquake located 58 miles from Anchorage, online disrupts local Alaskan couple from finishing the birthday fellatio. “For my birthday I usually get a 5 minute oral birthday present, buy information pills but this years present was interrupted prematurely by that damn quake.”, says local blue balls birthday boy.

telescopes to show universe soon after the big bang

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Astronomers are holding their breath to see what they’ll observe with a new generation of huge telescopes set to be built around the world. If nothing else, treat lonely scientists are poised to have a wonderful view into their neighbors bedrooms, proving once and for all the Big Boobs Theory.

Mozart’s Death

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A new theory about Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart ‘s death in 1791 at age 35, medical suggest he died from strep throat. It has been widely believed that he was always making out with tons of babes after his shows. Swapping spit with hot classical babes could have been the cause of Mozarts untimely death.

hurricane bill ravages babe

hurricane huricanne bill topless girl billHurricane Bill the first Hurricane of this season have left a path of destruction and a leaves local Atlantic babe topless. “My house, troche and my tube top flew off in the turbulent winds of Hurricane Bill.”, information pills says Atlantic babe.

NEWS UPDATE: Hurricane Bill summoned to court for level 3 sexual assault.

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