Jun 7, 2011
Since the dawning of time (or at least the mid 70’s), adiposity Man’s two favorite indulgences have been alcohol and pornography. What could be better than having a sip of a tasty adult beverage and then watching two strangers have sex for money on video tape? The question then became, “how to combine the two?” Sure you could set the old super 8, splash around a little Evan Williams, and get freaky with your lady friend. But where’s the class and innovation in that? It would take an overweight, well endowed, mustache of a man to finally get it right. Enter Ron Jeremy and his delicious Ron De Jeremy rum. We got it, we tried it, we dog gone done did it. Here is what we remember…
More info and photos below
What happens when you get a gratis bottle of Ron De Jeremy and invite a babe and her two friends over for a little rum taste testing night?
Here is our play by play of the night, (we think).
7:18pm Cute as a fuck button friend agrees to come over for taste testing.
7:20pm She informs us two of her hot babe friends are into tasting some Ron Jeremy Juice
9:50pm Cute button fuck shows up, minus two of her friends.
9:51pm We exchange disappointed and lustless looks
10:04pm We imagine us double motor-boating high fiving and exchange lustful looks
10:05pm We open the girthy throbbing bottle eager to spill it’s liquids all over our faces.
10:06pm We ask her to take of her top.
10:07pm She didn’t hear us
10:10pm Three shots are poured as we pucker our lips in anticipation of sexual gratification translated through rum.
10:12pm We ask her what she thinks of the rum?
10:13pm She replies, “zingy”!
10:14pm We exchange hopeful and lustful looks.
10:20pm We switch to rum and cokes and discuss the smoothness and drink-ability that accompanies the drink donning the face of our favorite large membered Guiness Book of World Records holder (most adult film appearances)
10:30pm Smoke break and discussions of tops being taken off are discussed.
10:45pm Tops remain on
10:50pm The bottle is halfway killed and it becomes unbelievably smooth to drink straight up as our throats naturally lube up.
11:00pm We stumble over to our favorite local dive bar.
11:01pm We take off our own tops.
11:15pm We regale our fellow bar patrons with tales of porn alcohol, two promised babes missing in action, and the finer points of drinking until you can’t feel feelings
11:18pm A round of shots is presented to our table
11:19pm A round of shots is taken by our table
11:52pm – 12:46am ???
12:47am *Outgoing Text Message Sent to Babe* “my nostrils are insufficient”
12:50am What happened this past hour? Were tops taken off? We’ll never know. But somehow we are home.
1:00am We all pass out with our tops on.
2:45am An egg sandwich was prepared, but never eaten.
7:00am Our friend wakes up next to the bottle of Ron De Jeremy
7:02am The bottle of Ron De Jeremy says he forgot he had something planned today and leaves.
7:10am Our friend realizes she had a wonderful night with the smooth long taste of Ron and she would always let Ron enter her anytime, anywhere, but always with her top on.
In summation, we like rum; we like Ron Jeremy; we like Ron Jeremy’s rum. Please send us more.
Learn more or buy a bottle for yourself RonDeJeremy.com